Saturday, January 8, 2011

75 Lessons that MUST be learned in relationships

I came across this list on and thought it was quite interesting. 

1.        If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2.         Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3.        If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man or woman’s character, leave them alone.
4.         Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
5.         Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
6.         Don't force an attraction.
7.         Slower is better.
8.        Never live your life for a man or woman before you find what makes you truly happy.
9.         If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
10.      Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order
11.     Don't settle.
12.      If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
13.      If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that? The one who deserves you will have NO DOUBTS.
14.     Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
15.     Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.
16.     The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
17.     There's only one reason a man dumps you or doesn't call; he doesn't want you or didn't want to call. Don't make him lie because you need to hear an excuse.
18.     Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? And unprotected s*x.....WHOA.
19.      You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.
20.     Always put yourself and your happiness first. Unless you have kids - then THEY come first. They are smarter than you think - and they are watching your example.
21.     Always have your own set of friends separate from his/hers.
22.      Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
23.     Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
24.     Be honest and upfront.
25.     Know when to cut the cord; even if he doesn't. Don't be strung along.
26.     Don't fall for the "I'm confused" role. Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on). HIS confusion should not be YOUR issue.
27.     If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).
28.     There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.
29.     You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
30.     Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard.
31.     Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
32.     Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
33.     Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!
34.     Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
35.     If you think he is cheating, he probably is.
36.      Actions speak louder than words. LISTEN. 37
37.     Never let a man define who you are.
38.     Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
39.     Never borrow someone else's man. It's not that you are so great that you could steal him away....the truth is that he's so cheap, anyone can have him. Check his ethics at the door....and your own.
40.     If he cheated WITH you, he'll cheat ON you. Don't believe you're "different."
41.      Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.
42.     To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.
43.     Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.
44.     Love is a verb ... An ACTION verb.
45.     Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
46.     A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
47.     All men are NOT dogs.
48.     You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
49.     If you don't love can't love anyone else.
50.     You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.
51.     You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
52.     You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
53.     Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
54.     NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.
55.     Never become your man's "therapist".
56.     When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.
57.     A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work.
58.     Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.
59.     Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.
60.     Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure = him to spend time with you, You cant force a man to hang out with you.
61.     If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.
62.     Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
63.     Never move into his mother's house.
64.      Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.
65.     Never co-sign for a man.
66.     Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.
67.     Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.
68.     Never let a man mess up your credit.
69.     When it's time to let go; let go.
70.     Good men should be treated like good men.
71.     Don't play games.
72.     You can't make a whore into a housewife - or husband.
73.     Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
74.     Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
75.     Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.


  1. 1 47 54 are the truth.. this is a good list.. man i think i should email this to come guys..!

  2. Girl, you ain't lying at ALL! 36 is the main one for me, none of the guys I have ever been with have quite gotten a grasp on that concept -_- lol

    That GOOD GOOD Blog